Adoption Options--Where Do I Start? - by Larry Denton

Children are a special gift full of love, hope, joy, and adventure. Child adoption is a wonderful option when it comes time to increase the size of your family. Thousands or people adopt children each year and both they and the children benefit from it greatly. It is, however, not a decision to be made lightly. Are you emotionally ready for a life-time commitment? If you are adopting because of an infertility problem, have you resolved that issue? Is your home large enough? Are you financially capable of raising a child? Do you really want the responsibility of being a parent? These questions, and many more, need to be answered before proceeding with the adoption process.

At times, the adoption process can seem complicated, time consuming, and even frustrating. However, there are many resources available to help prospective adoptive parents as well as for those women who are looking for assistance in giving their child a better life. The decision to place a child for adoption is an extremely difficult one. It is an act of great courage and much love. Remember, adoption is permanent.

Children do not need "perfect" parents--they simply need one or more committed individuals who are willing to meet their basic needs and allow them to become part of a nurturing family environment. Finding your "ideal" child, who is available for adoption, can take some time. Each and every adoptive parent has their own mental picture of what they want their child to be. The more specific you are with your ideal child, the harder it will be to find him or her. But no matter what child you adopt, you will end up loving him or her just as much, because all children are a special joy.

There are basically two types of adoptions: confidential and open. In a confidential adoption, the birth parents and the adoptive parents never know each other. Adopting parents are given some background information about the birth mother and the father so that they may better take proper care of the child--such as medical histories.

Using an open adoption method, the birth parents and the adoptive parents know something about each other. In the least open, the birth mother reads about several possible families and picks the one that sounds best for the baby. In the most open type, the mother and the adoptive parents share names, addresses, telephone numbers and actually stay in contact with one another through the years.

The second major decision concerning adoption concerns the question, "Where will the child come from?" Again, there are two options. You can adopt a child born in the United States, called a domestic adoption, or you can choose to adopt a child from another country, referred to as an inter-country adoption. If you choose the second option, you must then decide from which country your child should come--sometimes a very difficult, but vitally important decision.

No matter what type of adoption you choose to pursue, remember that this is a legal proceeding and must be finalized in court, although the process varies from state to state. Adoption is a life-long process, and you and your new addition are sure to have many questions along the way. "Why did Mom give me up?" "Who is my real Dad?" These are real and important questions which must be answered by those involved, but
adoption is truly a great opportunity for everyone involved. With adoptions everyone wins!

About the Author

Larry Denton is a retired history teacher having taught 33 years at Hobson High in Hobson, Montana. He is currently Vice President of Elfin Enterprises, Inc., an Internet business providing useful information and resources on a variety of timely topics. For a court room full of information, resources and advice about aoptions, visit http://www.AdoptionAide.com